Muscle Memory

My entire childhood memory vault contains at least one Ellis in the corner playing the guitar. It is the soundtrack to an Ellis existence. Apparently one I wasn't cool enough to get in on. Womp womp.

Yes, my dad got me a guitar when I was twelve. Yes, I played it for two weeks then couldn't figure out how to tune it. Since my parents are divorced I didn't see my dad except in the summer because of the distance and custody battles and a bunch of mess. So, by the next summer I was probably into whatever the opposite of guitar playing is; like how much eye liner I could smudge on my face until my goth phase screamed at anyone I encountered. 

Regardless, I've had this guitar since then, about 14 years ago. It has traveled with me to and fro across the country on my many indecisive adventure moves. It's been my constant. I always found a way to bring it with me. Fielding questions about if I play guitar rather awkwardly, stumbling over some weird explanation about my family playing but I didn't get the gene. 

That was a lie though. I've always been gifted when it comes to music, and as I type that I completely understand how pompous I sound. "I'm Gifted". I want to tell myself to fuck off just thinking it. However, it's true. I pick it up pretty quickly. Or I did back in the day and I'm gambling that it's still true. 

My father gave me a Jackson electric guitar that I, to this day, have no clue how to tune or play. I've been procrastinating going to our local music store to see about trading it in for an acoustic (after getting my dad's blessing of course) because I just don't know if I can handle another hobby. 

These are my hobbies in no particular order:

Writing. Reading. Crocheting. Wreath Making. Rock Painting. Drawing. Coloring. WoW. Baking.

And now apparently teaching myself how to play guitar has been added to the list. 

I'm very excited about it. 

We took the guitar to the store after I got off work tonight and the owner is looking into the value to give me an estimate on sale price, trade in value, etc. I'm confident I found a good shop to build a relationship going forward. 

Regardless, it was a good experience and I'm excited to get the quote so I can get my acoustic and learn how to play the guitar and join the ranks with the Ellis Greats that our family revolves around. 

So, this is ultimately my first positive for the day. Visiting the music shop. It was out of my comfort zone but being in the shop just made me so happy and at home. It was great. I am excited to go on this new adventure and hopefully find a new way to battle depression through music. 

Second, we went to our favorite Thai restaurant for dinner. I just feel so great going in there. They already know what we order, we catch up with the waiter, it's just a nice feeling having these connections in our local community. 

My third positive is staying within my calorie goal for the day. I've been doing well logging my food the last few days and still abstaining from delicious calorie filled Coke. 

So. I am sleepy. And I'm going to probably sleep now. And ignore my adult responsibilities for the rest of the night.